


to those who hold fast to it

by aelisheva



Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Jewish Dave (Umbrella Academy), Jewish Five Hargreeves, Multi, Non-Binary Klaus Hargreeves, Non-Binary Male Five Hargreeves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-23
Updated: 2019-11-12
Packaged: 2020-09-25 00:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20367874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aelisheva/pseuds/aelisheva
Summary: Everyone tries to plan Five a B’nai Mitzvah, since he’s (technically) thirteen. This should be...fun?





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> the title is from the jewish folk song “tree of life / aytz chayim he.”  
some sources for more about b’nai mitzvahs for nonbinary kids (and other names for an nb-inclusive ceremony) can be found below. i am a cishet girl, so some of the phrasing, etc. may be inaccurate for five’s ceremony as a nonbinary guy. please tell me if anything, ceremony-related or not, is inaccurate.
> 
> https://www.keshetonline.org/resources/a-guide-for-the-gender-neutral-b-mitzvah/   
https://www.jweekly.com/2018/03/05/non-binary-teens-gender-neutral-bnai-mitzvah-big-responsibility/

_ Five was having that dream again. It was yet another thing that he still couldn’t shake from all of those decades alone. _

_ At least this particular dream wasn’t one of the bad ones. For starters, he wasn’t by himself. He was standing inside a burnt gazebo, evening stars blazing around him, waltzing with a woman while an old Rat Pack song played from someone’s cracked laptop. Even in dreams, his brain wouldn’t let him escape this hellhole. But at least his mind let him be an adult. Only an adult in his late thirties, but an adult nonetheless. _

_ That was always the cue that something was wrong. (He couldn’t just “wake up” from this, though. Despite all his tries, lucid dreaming wasn’t even a superpower of his. All he could do was move along with the tide, unaware that this perfectly pleasant night was a total --) _

_ “You alright over there, Fifth Doctor?”  _

_ Five’s head jolted over to face the blond woman in his arms. Dolores had started calling him Fifth Doctor about twenty years and a day into their relationship. It was her little joke, since Doctor Who was also, in her words, “a time traveling smartass.” _

_ “Fiver,” Dolores started again, blue eyes boring into him. “Is there something you want to talk about?” _

_ Five absentmindedly ran his fingers over the sequins on the sleeves of Dolores’s dress. “How come we haven’t done this before?” _

_ “Done what?” _

_ “Dance like this. You must hate me for not being more...romantic. For not being better to you.” _

_ Dolores suddenly slowed to a stop and put a hand on Five’s cheek. “Fievel, you’ve got to understand that you...you’ve  _ always _ been terrible to me,” she winked.  _

_ Both of them laughed. For some reason, Five found it  _ hilarious. _ He threw his head back just as the ground underneath them rumbled from a tremor or a -- _

BUMP. Five jolted awake just as Luther drove his van over a pothole.

From behind the wheel, Luther made a noise.  _ “Jesus,”  _ he breathed out, “that’s not safe. There are old people living in this gated community, they could get hurt!”

“Well, I feel perfectly fine,” Five said quietly.

“He means people like Dave’s brothers, Five,” Diego added from the seat next to Five.

_ “No, _ really??” Five paused. Lately, his siblings had been trying to steer him towards “being nicer to his family.” He blinked that concept that into his head. “Diego, what do you think of this whole thing? All of us siblings coming down here to meet all of Dave’s siblings?”

“I’d say it’s a good idea,” Diego shrugged. “I mean, if I had a baby brother who died in the Vietnam War fifty years ago but not really because the seance he’s in love with has a sibling who can time travel...I’d have a lot of questions about the family he’ll be marrying into.”

Five snorted out a laugh. “That was a huge mouthful.”

Diego grinned. “I can control and hold my breath for long periods of time, remember? Besides, it’s something for all of us to do today. Something close to normal.”

“Yep,” Dave agreed from his spot next to Klaus. (Seriously, how had Dave and Grace and the rest of them all fit into this van??) “Just an average day of meeting the family.”

\---

Adam Katz, Jr. was very much a realist. If a second world war is raging around you, it’s your duty to help your parents tend their Victory Garden. If your niece Josie is getting married, buy her and her wife something off the registry that won’t break after a week.

If the postman comes with a letter and tells you that David Joshua Katz was shot in the back -- your square baby brother who was scared of spiders and always held the door for strangers -- you are never fucking seeing him again. That is, unless one day fifty years later you receive a very long, confusing, wonderful phone call.

After he heard the rap on his door, Josie helped her dad Joel and her uncles Adam and Ben to the threshold to answer it. Standing right outside was...that pale brunette girl who tried to destroy the world almost a year ago.

Adam grunted. “If you’re here to ask us to help you blow up the moon, little lady, you’re shit out of luck.”

“Adam!” Josie turned to her uncle. “She’s going to be your sister-in-law soon, remember?”

The three brothers shared a look. Joel winced. Ben threw his hands to the sky. “Then God help us all!”

A tall, skinny kid with curly dark hair shook his head. “Yeah, She’s not gonna help me after what I pulled.”

Ben’s face scrunched up “What? Hashem has always been there to --”

“Uh, it’s a long story, sir, and --”

Then Dave pushed his way to the front of the crowd. _ Then Dave pushed his way to the front of the crowd.  _ He opened his arms wide enough to hug the entire house. “Y-you’re all still  _ alive,”  _ he wavered out. The four Katz brothers embraced in a tearful hug. Pretty soon Josie and the other Katz children and grandchildren joined in, some crying, some reciting the Shehecheyanu prayer.

After they all finally broke apart, Dave had everyone shake hands with the Hargreeveses. “I know I explained the whole superhero thing on the phone, already, but...this is my fiancee Klaus and his family.”

\---

Getting the approval of Dave’s brothers was easier than Klaus had thought.

After they all stepped inside, Ben was the first brother to shake his hand -- right after meeting Ben  _ Hargreeves, _ of course. “You’ve got ‘Hello’ and ‘Goodbye’ on your hands, ha! That’s very clever. Tattoos aren’t for me, personally, but that’s very clever.”

Adam was by far the most badass grandpa he’d ever met. And the loudest. “You’re way better than some of the other _ losers _ my kid brother used to run around with,” he said once he knew for sure Dave was in earshot.

Adam’s daughter Rachel shook her head. “Dad, I’m also really happy to finally meet Uncle Dave, but --”

“Sweetie, please let me finish. Klaus, these kids were nothings! Nobodies! Like that little creep Aaron Bresky --”

Dave put his hands in his face and groaned. _ “How do you still remember Aaron Bresky.” _

“I have a steel memory.”

“And a horrible judgement in people!”

“What was so bad about Aaron Bresky?” Klaus laughed.

Adam turned to him with a stern face. “He was studying to be a  _ lawyer.” _

“Ah.”

Luckily, both families got along swimmingly. But after all the introductions and small talk had finished, people were starting to run out of energy. Five had curled up on a plastic-covered sofa and taken a book off Adam’s shelf. It was written in Hebrew, but Five could make the words out well enough. They’d tried to learn Hebrew while in the Apocalypse, after all. It wasn’t like there was much else for them to do. The visit was starting to wind down anyway.

Out of nowhere, Dave sat down next to Five. “Ah, that book’s a classic.”

Five flipped back to the front cover. “It’s the Bible.”

“Exactly. Wait, go back to your last page....I think the Torah portion I did for my Bar Mitzvah is right around here. As soon as I turned thirteen, my mom --” He suddenly paused. “Wait. You’re thirteen…”

“Dear God,” Five groaned, now aware of where this was going. “You are  _ not _ forcing me to have a B’nai Mitzvah…That’s one name for it if you’re a nonbinary --”

Dave nodded. “Yeah, I’ve heard about those. And come on, it could be fun!”

“There’s nothing ‘fun’ about you forcing me to stand in front of a crowd and sing from the Bible in another language.”

“Alright, you’ve got me there.”

“And those things are all for ‘kids becoming adults,’ I’m fifty-eight. I’m  _ already  _ an adult remember?”

Klaus turned over to them. “Well, this could be your chance to prove it.”

  
  



	2. Chapter Two

_ In the Apocalypse, some of Five’s other dreams were a lot less kind. Like the one he had the night he turned fifteen. _

_ It  _ <strike> _ was _ </strike> _ would have been October 1st, 2004, everyone’s fifteenth birthday. In the dream, Five stumbled through a mirror and ended up back at the mansion. He walked through the door without any security alarms going off. He walked through the door without Pogo announcing his arrival or a quick greeting from Grace.  _

_ Five stopped at the threshold of the living room, where his siblings were all ripping up wrapping paper and comparing presents. No one even looked up at the new pair of footsteps in the room. _

_ Well, except for Vanya. She stopped twirling her new violin bow and gave him a stiff smile with her “Hello.” _

_ “Oh hey, Five is here!” Klaus waved with one hand, holding his new combat boots in the other. _

_ Everyone else gave him a quick “hi,” then immediately went back to their gift conversation. _

_ “Doesn’t anyone want to know where I’ve been?” Five asked, but he was drowned out by Diego fiddling with the bubble wrap around his new sword.  _ _“Doesn’t_ anyone _want to know where I’ve been??”_

_ Luther scowled. “Wow, selfish much? It’s  _ our _ birthday, Five.” _

_ “Yes,” Allison said in a thick Russian accent, “we must all be like Comrade Vanya and share our birthday as one.” Everyone laughed. _

_ “Doesn’t anyone want to know where I’ve been???” _

\---

“So this would be the chapter you’re reading right here,” the rabbi said, pointing to a paragraph in the Torah book. “the third reading of the portion Vayetze.”

“Alright,” Five got out, wondering where Vanya had even found and hired this lady. “Could you give me a quick overview of the storyline?”

“Of course! Jacob, one of the Biblical Forefathers, moves to a new town and falls in love with a woman there named Rachel. Jacob asks her father Laban for his blessing for their marriage, but Laban will only let them marry after Jacob works for his business for seven years. According to the Torah, though, Jacob loved her so much that the seven years only felt like a few days.”

How long, Five wondered, had he even worked at the Commission in the first place? Seven years? Five years? Two months? It all felt like one long blur, especially since The Handler wouldn’t let him keep track of the days. Even when he came back the second time.

“So how did the wedding go, then, rabbi?”

She shook her head. “Not so well. The day of the wedding, Laban dressed his _other_ daughter Leah in the wedding dress and covered _her_ face with a thick veil. He tricked Jacob into marrying Leah instead. When Jacob confronted him about this, Laban had him work  _ seven more years _ to gain his _ true  _ bride.” She shook her head. “Luckily, after that, Jacob and Rachel really did get to marry.”

Five grimaced. “I’m glad he didn’t get pulled back in a third time.”


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> content warning: very brief discussion of historical anti-semitism (spanish inquisition, ellis island)

_Sometimes Five wondered about his birth parents. Not his ancestors, his birth parents. He'd already met his ancestors fleeing medieval Spain through accidental time travel, but that wasn't important right now. What was important was getting a good night sleep right now. So he shouldn't the husband and wife's soft hugs, or the way both of them looked him straight in the eyes but not in the way that Reginald did that made Five feel like the old man was holding a gun to his head._

_Don't think about that. Don't think about that. Bad thoughts breed bad dreams. Say that five times fast. Bad thoughts breed......._

The next morning, Dave and Five sat on a couch in the mansion, siddurs in hand. "Now," Dave started, "you should learn about how you're going to do your Aliyah." No response. "You know, when the rabbi calls you up to the bimah --"

"And makes me sing in front of a bunch of strangers," Five griped. "Yes. We've been over this."

Dave snorted. "You sure you're not really a thirteen-year-old?"

Against his better judgement, Five laughed. "So does the rabbi have to do anything before I sing the parshah?"

"Weeell, she'll call you up by your Hebrew name," Dave started. "For me it was easy because my Hebrew name is also David. Well, in Hebrew it's pronounced Dah-veed."

Allison, who was walking by with a smoothie, turned over to them. "Oh, like Daveed Diggs from _Hamilton!_"

Dave blinked. "Who? What?"

Allison shook her head and started to walk away. "Classic Grandpa Dave."

"Just because I've never listened to most newfangled music ---- Anyway," Dave sighed, "what's your Hebrew name?"

"Fievel," Five stated. "I chose it myself. After....after a forefather from my birth family." He shook his head. "I read about it in Monocle's records. Fievel and his wife fled to Constantinople, well, Istanbul, during the Spanish Inquisition."

Dave nodded solemnly. "The original David Katz was my grandfather who got my mother and her siblings to Ellis Island back at the turn of the 20th century. They were running away from....well, the usual shit."

"Yeah....So how does this Hebrew introduction work?"

Dave thought for a second. "Hmmm. I know they need your Hebrew name, and then the Hebrew name of at least one of your parents." He looked down. This was probably a touchy subject for the kid. "But maybe you could --"

"What's the Hebrew form of the name Grace?"

"I heard my name?" Grace clacked into the room in her sharp pink kitten heels.

"Hi Mother," Five said. "Do you know the Hebrew form of the name Grace?"

"Hmmm." Grace shut her eyes as her databases whirred. "It appears to be Chana, or even its Anglicized form of Hannah."

Five straightened his tie, even though it was already perfectly straight. "Mother, would....would you like me to call you Chana in my Hebrew introduction?" He gulped. "They...they need me to mention my m-mother and...and --"  
  


Grace hugged him from behind. "Oh Five," she said, tears welling, "I'd be honored." She snuggled into him, and Five returned the gesture. "So....so now I guess they'll call you up as..."

Dave flipped through the siddur some more. "Uhh...I think the introduction would go..." He took a breath and started to sing. "Na la'mod Fievel mi-beit Chana ha-shli-shee...." Grace clapped politely, and Dave turned red. "Uh...."

"You should sing more often," Klaus shouted down from upstairs.

"I'll sing something by Dean Martin next, zeeskeit," Dave winked back up. Five smiled, pretending he knew who Dean Martin was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you want more about turkish/sephardic five, check out my fic "no you can't go back to constantinople!"


End file.
